My Heart Will Go On
by ithaswhatitisnt
Summary: Using the song, yes...Erik is ready to hang himself, and Christine feels very guilty about leaving him. Will she get a chance to redeem herself? Oneshot.


Yes, yes, I know, I am a horrible person for using this over-used song. But I thought it fit this story nicely. And please don't harp at me about the whole St. Peter/getting judged to go into Heaven thing. If you don't believe in that or don't like the way I used it, sorry, but that's the way I interpreted the process to go. I don't own Phantom, Heaven, St. Peter, or Celine Dion and the song which makes Kate Winslet sick.

* * *

_Every night in my dreams, I see you, I feel you_

_That is how I know you go on_

_Far across the distance and spaces between us_

_You have come to show you go on…_

Guilt. That was the one feeling flowing through young Christine Daaé's mind. The guilt that she felt from destroying her angel consumed her every day. Wracked with grief, she wanted to go back to L'Opera Garnier and apologize to Erik for behaving so. She shouldn't have spurned him so coldly when he had given her all of his love. He didn't deserve to die without knowing why she didn't choose him.

Christine made the worst mistake of her life. She realized that soon after she left him, Erik was broken-hearted, devastated, and stunned. He had good reason to be, what with his treating her like a goddess. Christine had vowed that she would never allow herself to feel anything for this monster. Yet, somehow, when she examined her husband-to-be, Raoul de Chagny, she could not find anything extraordinary about him. Erik always was extraordinary.

But there was another, slightly more selfish reason of why she wanted to return to him. Erik haunted her in her dreams every night. He always appeared without his trademark black mask on, revealing his withered, corpse-like face. Christine abhorred that face. She always ran away as fast as she could, but yet she always remained in place, and Erik came toward her, arms outstretched, reaching to carry her away. Christine fought ferociously, but it was to no avail. Erik would scoop her into his skeletal arms and take her away to where no one could find her. That was when Christine woke up screaming. Christine was willing to hazard a guess that if she went and saw Erik once more, perhaps he would leave her dreams alone.

There was a part of Christine that didn't want the awful nightmares to end. She wanted to see his demonic face; a small part of that face was comforting to see, for her. Almost. She could also feel his cold, bony touch, and she recoiled every time. Deep down, a small portion of her wished to feel that skeleton's caress. She couldn't fathom why, but she allowed her feelings to grow.

One day, the urge was unable to be sated. Christine had an undeniable yearning to go visit her fallen angel one last time before she officially became the Vicomtesse de Chagny. At that point, however, the desire to see Erik eliminated any wish she had to join with the frail, sickly boy. Christine wrapped herself in a midnight blue velvet cloak and took off in the dead of night to find her fallen angel.

_Near, far, wherever you are_

_I believe that the heart does go on_

_Once more, you open the door_

_And you're here in my heart_

_And my heart will go on and on_

Christine arrived at the Rue Scribe, and she pushed the gate forward hesitantly. Now, she only needed to remember where to turn…

Elsewhere, Erik was still as morose as he had been since the day Christine broke him in two. After careful planning and thought, Erik decided to kill himself. A world with no Christine was no world at all, in his eyes. He had no life without her, anyway.

Why had he chosen to destroy himself even though he knew the consequences? He knew she was the forbidden fruit, and yet, he reached out and tasted her exquisiteness when he had no right to. Erik, throughout his entire worthless life, had nothing to yearn for or look forward to. That was the most probable reason why he began fixating on and obsessing over the Daae girl. He should have been more careful and less careless when it came to her, but when he was with her, he mostly threw caution to the wind. He wanted Christine to know him, all of him, and yet he could never erase the grotesque remorse that sat in his conscience; the remorse that settled because she had seen the deformed beast, and she had reacted as any sane person should have.

Erik simply didn't care. He had relied on the hope of Christine's requited love as a crutch for living for too long. Without even the possibility of her loving him, he had nothing but despair and pain. It was easier just to shut the door to that part of his life, and open the door to his death, where his happiness could begin.

_Love can touch us one time and last for a lifetime_

_And never let go till we're gone_

_Love was when I loved you, one true time I hold to_

_In my life we'll always go on…_

Christine continued wandering through the labyrinth that lurked beneath the acclaimed L'Opera Garnier, searching for a patch of light or the sound of gently moving water. She hurried on, hoping that she wasn't too late. She hoped that Erik hadn't gone away, or worse, killed himself.

Once she reached the underground realm of the misunderstood man, would she find his corpse, horribly decaying and covered in maggots? Or would she find him on the chair, the noose around his neck, ready to kick the chair out from under his useless body? She felt it odd when she felt a surge of panic and despair upon thinking about Erik's death.

Christine then felt a little shock of realization. She would mourn and be unhappy if Erik died. If Erik ceased to be, how could she go on? The only time she ever loved, and truly loved, was with Erik. He treated her the way a goddess would be treated, and she enjoyed basking in his admiration. He didn't require her to be anything or anyone different than herself. With Erik, Christine felt alive. Since she left him, she felt awful, and she wanted to make it up to him in any way possible. Christine felt that she wouldn't stop loving Erik at any point in her lifetime. When she died, perhaps the love would stop. In the fairytales that decorated Christine's childhood, she had always heard of love lasting more than one lifetime. Could Erik love her for more than one lifetime? Could he still love her even after her brutal betrayal?

_Near, far, wherever you are_

_I believe that the heart does go on_

_Once more, you open the door_

_And you're here in my heart _

_And my heart will go on and on…_

Erik finished hanging the noose from the rafter directly above the stage of L'Opera Garnier. He sighed, and fingered the black velvet mask that Christine hated. All he could think about in his final hours was Christine. _Christine would have loved that; that was Christine's favorite; Christine would have trembled at that!_

It didn't matter; none of it did. Christine was never coming back, and he had to deal with it, no matter how much it hurt. Erik descended down the ladder he had snitched from the stagehands' store room, and he prepared to hop up onto the chair which he had dragged from the lobby to right under the loop of the noose. He fitted the noose around his worthless neck, and he was preparing to kick the chair out when Christine floated in.

"Erik?" Her heavenly voice, which once belonged exclusively to him, reached his ears a split second before he kicked.

_Christine_, was his only thought before he kicked out the chair and his neck snapped with a resounding sick crack. Christine gasped and covered her mouth with her hand. She hurried over to her former voice teacher to examine him; she was praying that he was still alive. Christine had no such luck; he was dead before she got there. Christine let an anguished cry escape her perfect lips and she knelt beside Erik's body.

"Erik! Erik, I am so sorry. You didn't deserve any of this; you didn't deserve any of the suffering and torture I brought upon you. I caused your death, and you'll never know how guilty I feel."

She began sobbing, and she clutched his immobile body desperately.

"Erik, Erik, I did love you! I just realized it too late!" Christine sobbed, her tears matting Erik's straggly hair strands to his head. His lips had been slightly parted when he dropped from the noose, and Christine pressed her lips to the corpse's.

Meanwhile, Erik was standing in line to be judged to get into Heaven. As he approached the pearly gates, he caught a snippet of sound: "Oh, Erik!" He also detected tears. He turned and peered down the clouds back to Earth, and nearly jumped out of his skin upon viewing Christine caressing his dead body. She was kissing it, and embracing it, and she wasn't repulsed at all.

Erik didn't realize he was holding up the line, but now he wished he were back on Earth, with Christine. He turned to St. Peter.

"St. Peter, sir, I was wondering if I could possibly have another shot at an Earth life."

St. Peter looked down and saw Christine sobbing over Erik's body. "Was that a loved one of yours?"

Erik nodded. "Yes, sir. She is my entire life, and I love her more than anything."

St. Peter chuckled, and Erik frowned.

"We'll give you another chance, Erik, but you had better improve this time around!" St. Peter laughed gently, and suddenly Erik's soul was hurtling through the heavens, racing to get back in its proper container.

_You're here, there's nothing I fear_

_And I know that my heart will go on_

_We'll stay forever this way_

_You are safe in my heart_

_And my heart will go on and on…_

Christine had made up her mind. She had done the damage, and now she was going to put it right. She was going to lie beside Erik until she, too, was dead; then they could be together, forever. The two angels would go to Heaven together.

Christine arranged Erik's body so that her head was nestled in the crook of his neck, and his arms were around her, providing her with little warmth in the dank opera catacombs. Christine closed her eyes and scooted closer to Erik, to absorb as much of him as possible. Without warning, Erik's body suddenly jolted, and the cold dead hands suddenly clasped hers with new warmth.

Christine twisted her head until she could get a good look at Erik's face. When he grinned at her, she nearly fainted. He had come back to life, somehow, just like in the fairytales.

"Christine…are you an illusion?" Erik asked slowly. He couldn't let her know that he had seen everything.

"No, Erik," Christine whimpered, new tears swimming in her eyes. "I made the worst mistake ever. I never should have just left. I could have at least given you a reason…I should have…I could have…" The tears that were bubbling up suddenly overflowed, and Christine was flat-out sobbing again. Only this time, Erik noted with glee, he was there to comfort her.

"Christine," he murmured, wrapping her in his arms. "Shh, love, everything's all right now."

"Before I was so scared," Christine sobbed.

"Shh," Erik shushed her. He kissed the top of her head. "It's all right. Everything's going to be OK. I'm here now. You don't have anything to worry about, sweetheart."

"Erik?"

"Yes, angel?"

"I didn't want to live without you."

It took Erik a few seconds to reply calmly.

"Really?"

"Yes. I love you," she whispered, turning her head so she could kiss him on his cold lips.

"I love you as well, more than anything," he said automatically, because it was the truth. The truth always needed to be said first, and he made her blissfully happy with that one statement.

"Don't ever let me go again," Christine chided him, and he smiled.

"I won't."

They didn't know how long they stayed on the floor, wrapped up in each other like the rest of the world didn't exist.

* * *

Daw. You know you want to review...then Erik and Christine will be happy!


End file.
